April 15, 2008
Is There No End to Parental Over-Indulgence?
By Tom Ryan
In Parenting, Inc, Pamela Paul dissects what she sees as the over-commercialization of parenting and babyhood. The subtitle of the book conveys her concerns: How We Are Sold On $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers – and What It Means for Our Children.
Ms. Paul investigates the marketing hype that pushes parents to spend, according to a Wall Street Journal estimate, over $1 million to raise a child. The over-indulging is driven by a host of factors: the guilt and exhaustion of working parents, the dispersion of family networks that once passed knowledge from generation to generation, the pressure of admissions from preschool to college, and a celebrity-worshipping culture (including its offspring).
“Sometimes, spending a lot on children isn’t just unnecessary; it’s counterproductive,” Paul writes. “Every parent I know is struggling to figure out how to afford a family without succumbing to the spiral of consumption that characterizes modern parenthood.”
And it’s not just splurges of products (such as the $800 Bugaboo stroller), it’s Chinese lessons, baby sign language, music appreciation, BabyWOW 3.0, and assorted parenting coaches.
Writing a review in The New York Times, Kate Zernike believes Ms. Paul “has tapped a real concern. An entire industry preys on parental anxiety, and succumbing to it, we risk raising children who don’t know what to do with ‘free’ time and who will measure their value by what they can buy.”
She also agrees that children have become status symbols for some parents, especially in New York City. But Ms. Zernike said Ms. Paul fails to make the case that this over-indulgence is occurring across Middle America. And while parents all over seem more susceptible to peer pressure and guilt buys, most eventually realize that “all your lovingly selected toys pale when the kid discovers he can pull the saucepans out of the cupboard.”
Parents eventually trust their own instincts. Said Ms. Zernike, “We hyperventilate, we overbuy, and then we get a talking-to by a friend, a mother or a pediatrician (like the one who told me after we’d spent hundreds of dollars on a changing table that the only place to change the baby was on the floor), and we self-correct.”
Discussion Questions: Are marketers and retailers taking advantage of parents’ tendency to over-buy? Do you expect a backlash from frivolous baby products and services? How can retailers capitalize on this opportunity responsibly?
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No question there is a spiral of consumption, maybe even competition, where parental spending is concerned. However, there are also some very positive trends particularly where infant safety issues are concerned. If children can be saved by parents using products that help lesson the odds for sudden infant death syndrome, or children lost, stolen, or missing, or even if the mother can take steps to be sure she is nursing safely and healthfully, then these are terrific consumer investments.
The more things change the more they stay the same. The pendulum will continue to swing. Just as the most valued commodity in the last 10 years has been time, now that we are seeing a run up in prices, all of a sudden grocery stores are back in vogue and restaurants are taking a hit.
The same trend will hit the baby market. It is easy to spend when money is cheap but now that money is getting harder to come by, parents will think before they spend. As someone said, the floor is the best place to change a diaper. Lot of wiggle room.
Just an unrehearsed perspective; I would love to see some real research on this.
There seems (IMHO) to be two vectors that drive normal impulse to dote on your kids into hyperspace:
Overprotective helicopter parenting, driven by the sensationalism and a lack of understanding of probability (we worry WAY too much, and about the wrong things, because we read about it all the time or see it on TV). I don’t want you playing out in the yard (somebody might steal you), so let’s go to backgammon lessons.
Dual income guilt; both parents work and don’t feel that they spend enough time with the kids, so they use material goods as a proxy for time spent.
These aren’t universal, but they affect enough people that they change their behavior, and then it becomes a keeping up with the Joneses thing. If you don’t think keeping up is big, just look at how big Easter gifting has become; just a decade ago it was almost entirely candy, now it’s clothes, CDs, gift cards and a Cadbury egg tossed in for good measure.
As a person with admitted libertarian tendencies, I have always believed that people should be able to spend their money as they see fit without having to justify it to others. This would include purchases such as outsize McMansions, shiny red sports cars and $800 baby strollers (so long as the purchases are realistically compatible with the family’s financial resources).
However, to hear a new Chicago area mother who happens to possess all three of the above, recently complain bitterly that milk is now costing almost $4.00 a gallon demonstrates how truly nuts things have gotten. Her comment suggested a certain lack of proportion in priorities (and common sense), I thought.
No doubt, the first baby in the family “needs” all of the latest and greatest gizmos and gadgets and classes. The second baby…not so much. The third baby…well, he’s lucky if his parents remember to put him in the car when they leave the house.
Parents eventually do wise up (although not all) and weed out the not really needed “necessities” and figure out what is truly worth buying.
The evidence of the results of this treatment is already out: we have the “most positive generation” of Americans to come along since the 50’s. The millenials (direct recipients of this over-indulgence) have more confidence in the future, in their ability to get good jobs and in their parents than any other generation. They’re a lot that’s been given all the attention in the world, and it shows: they share everything, they adapt to new technology quickly and again, they know they can win.
We’ll now see how they handle the biggest downturn in the economy in their lives. It’s going to be interesting, but I, for one, have faith in them!
Indulging the baby isn’t just a parent phenomenon. Children’s book sales increases are driven by grandparent purchases…and there are a lot more grandparents around these days. Besides, the average number of children per family has declined, so it’s natural that per-baby spending can rise.
Yes, marketers and retailers are taking advantage of parents’ tendencies to overbuy, but consumers keep voting with their wallets and overbuy. No one forces consumers to spend frivolously…they do it themselves. Perhaps the current economic situation will prompt a change in buying habits. Then again, “Nothing is too good for my children.”
Baby is a huge category and parents will not stop spending on their kids. Some of the products listed in the article are frivolous but some are not. The Bugaboo stroller far exceeds the quality of Graco or Peg (trust me, I know. I almost lost my wife over this issue!).
I think it is up to the parent to make the decision on what to buy. Retailers can only put the products on the shelf. Parents who are cost weary should do the research on their own and make the decision themselves. Btw, my 13 month old daughter prefers TupperWare over anything made by Fisher Price.
Are marketers and retailers taking advantage of parents’ tendency to over-buy? Of course; that’s their job.
Do I expect a backlash? No, this has been going on for decades. I remember writing about the phenomena over 20 years ago in FutureScan (now Growth Strategies), except the unfathomable figure for raising a child then was $100,000 (as opposed to today’s $1 million).
Frivolous baby products and services? What you buy is frivolous; what I and my spouse buy are small indulgences.
How can retailers capitalize on this opportunity responsibly? The way they always have: give people what they want at a profitable price point. This is a retailing industry web site, right? And oh, by the way, integrate your sales channels.
As a parent, I have learned that “simpler is better” and that the sooner you figure that out, the easier it is on you. There is a lot of pressure on parents to “do it right” and online services and products will have a competitive edge for time starved parents.
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No question there is a spiral of consumption, maybe even competition, where parental spending is concerned. However, there are also some very positive trends particularly where infant safety issues are concerned. If children can be saved by parents using products that help lesson the odds for sudden infant death syndrome, or children lost, stolen, or missing, or even if the mother can take steps to be sure she is nursing safely and healthfully, then these are terrific consumer investments.
The more things change the more they stay the same. The pendulum will continue to swing. Just as the most valued commodity in the last 10 years has been time, now that we are seeing a run up in prices, all of a sudden grocery stores are back in vogue and restaurants are taking a hit.
The same trend will hit the baby market. It is easy to spend when money is cheap but now that money is getting harder to come by, parents will think before they spend. As someone said, the floor is the best place to change a diaper. Lot of wiggle room.
Just an unrehearsed perspective; I would love to see some real research on this.
There seems (IMHO) to be two vectors that drive normal impulse to dote on your kids into hyperspace:
Overprotective helicopter parenting, driven by the sensationalism and a lack of understanding of probability (we worry WAY too much, and about the wrong things, because we read about it all the time or see it on TV). I don’t want you playing out in the yard (somebody might steal you), so let’s go to backgammon lessons.
Dual income guilt; both parents work and don’t feel that they spend enough time with the kids, so they use material goods as a proxy for time spent.
These aren’t universal, but they affect enough people that they change their behavior, and then it becomes a keeping up with the Joneses thing. If you don’t think keeping up is big, just look at how big Easter gifting has become; just a decade ago it was almost entirely candy, now it’s clothes, CDs, gift cards and a Cadbury egg tossed in for good measure.
As a person with admitted libertarian tendencies, I have always believed that people should be able to spend their money as they see fit without having to justify it to others. This would include purchases such as outsize McMansions, shiny red sports cars and $800 baby strollers (so long as the purchases are realistically compatible with the family’s financial resources).
However, to hear a new Chicago area mother who happens to possess all three of the above, recently complain bitterly that milk is now costing almost $4.00 a gallon demonstrates how truly nuts things have gotten. Her comment suggested a certain lack of proportion in priorities (and common sense), I thought.
No doubt, the first baby in the family “needs” all of the latest and greatest gizmos and gadgets and classes. The second baby…not so much. The third baby…well, he’s lucky if his parents remember to put him in the car when they leave the house.
Parents eventually do wise up (although not all) and weed out the not really needed “necessities” and figure out what is truly worth buying.
The evidence of the results of this treatment is already out: we have the “most positive generation” of Americans to come along since the 50’s. The millenials (direct recipients of this over-indulgence) have more confidence in the future, in their ability to get good jobs and in their parents than any other generation. They’re a lot that’s been given all the attention in the world, and it shows: they share everything, they adapt to new technology quickly and again, they know they can win.
We’ll now see how they handle the biggest downturn in the economy in their lives. It’s going to be interesting, but I, for one, have faith in them!
Indulging the baby isn’t just a parent phenomenon. Children’s book sales increases are driven by grandparent purchases…and there are a lot more grandparents around these days. Besides, the average number of children per family has declined, so it’s natural that per-baby spending can rise.
Yes, marketers and retailers are taking advantage of parents’ tendencies to overbuy, but consumers keep voting with their wallets and overbuy. No one forces consumers to spend frivolously…they do it themselves. Perhaps the current economic situation will prompt a change in buying habits. Then again, “Nothing is too good for my children.”
Baby is a huge category and parents will not stop spending on their kids. Some of the products listed in the article are frivolous but some are not. The Bugaboo stroller far exceeds the quality of Graco or Peg (trust me, I know. I almost lost my wife over this issue!).
I think it is up to the parent to make the decision on what to buy. Retailers can only put the products on the shelf. Parents who are cost weary should do the research on their own and make the decision themselves. Btw, my 13 month old daughter prefers TupperWare over anything made by Fisher Price.
Are marketers and retailers taking advantage of parents’ tendency to over-buy? Of course; that’s their job.
Do I expect a backlash? No, this has been going on for decades. I remember writing about the phenomena over 20 years ago in FutureScan (now Growth Strategies), except the unfathomable figure for raising a child then was $100,000 (as opposed to today’s $1 million).
Frivolous baby products and services? What you buy is frivolous; what I and my spouse buy are small indulgences.
How can retailers capitalize on this opportunity responsibly? The way they always have: give people what they want at a profitable price point. This is a retailing industry web site, right? And oh, by the way, integrate your sales channels.
As a parent, I have learned that “simpler is better” and that the sooner you figure that out, the easier it is on you. There is a lot of pressure on parents to “do it right” and online services and products will have a competitive edge for time starved parents.