May 11, 2023
Photo: iStock | FG Trade
Is Giving Feedback Harder Than Getting It?
The problem with workplace feedback is less about employees dreading the exercise and more about managers avoiding facing awkward conversations.
Research that came out last year led by Harvard behavioral scientist Francesca Gino found that across multiple experiments, individuals overestimated the negative consequences of giving feedback and underestimated the benefits to others. In one experiment, only four out of 212 people surveyed told their survey provider that they had an unsightly smudge on their face.
The researchers suggested feedback-givers should consider the perspective of the feedback receiver.
“Even if you are hesitant, take a second to ask yourself if you would want the feedback if you were them,” Prof. Gino told Harvard Business School Working Knowledge. “Most likely you would, and this realization can empower you to give better feedback. The other person likely wants it more than you think.”
Helen Tupper and Sarah Ellis, co-founders and CEOs of Amazing If, a career-development consultancy, in a recent Harvard Business Review column, wrote that concerns about having difficult conversations might lead managers “to water down their feedback communication and deliver unclear messaging” with the outcome not aiding the feedback receiver’s performance.
“The flow of feedback is important for everyone, but all too often, it ends up feeling forced, formal, and infrequent. As a result, people’s development stalls and team growth is stifled,” the two wrote.
Their tips to improve feedback included creating a “shared understanding” about why regular feedback is important, making it easier to share feedback through periodic exercises, such as using “moments of praise” as a learning lesson, and focusing on “asking rather than telling.”
Brooke Vuckovic, a clinical professor of leadership at Kellogg, tells Business Insider the feedback-giver should clarify the purpose of the conversation, whether helping the organization or building trust with staff, to help them “roll over that emotional speed bump.”
Her other suggestions included preparing for conflicting views and giving the colleague a chance to respond. “You want to ensure that, by the end of your conversation, all agreements are completely clear to all parties—and that may simply be that you are going to talk about this again tomorrow,” she said.
BrainTrust
Kevin Graff
President, Graff Retail
Bob Phibbs
President/CEO, The Retail Doctor
Patricia Vekich Waldron
Contributing Editor, RetailWire; Founder and CEO, Vision First
Recent Discussions
Discussion Questions
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: What are the obstacles to providing constructive feedback? What tips do you have for giving constructive feedback?
Poll
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This is a huge problem for my clients as managers are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. This often comes from wanting to be their associates friend and going out on Saturday night, then having to be the boss on Monday morning. You can’t be both.
Contrary to popular religious belief, giving [feedback] is harder than receiving [feedback]. Choosing the wording, the tone of delivery, the personality on the other side of the feedback, these factors and more, are very important when giving feedback. Giving is the proactive part (more challenging) while getting is the passive part (easier if the feedback is properly administered).
The truth is that feedback scares people. Call them into the office, and their armor is well apparent. I have always found that constant feedback, on the floor, delivered on the floor as casual conversation with ideas to up performances, were always well received well. Then at official performance reviews, there are no surprises and the review tends to b very positive for all parties.
Agreed. I believe constant feedback in the office is a good way for associates to measure how they are doing. No one should have to wait for performance reviews(if they are given at all) to find out that they doing satisfactory or subpar work. It part of being a good leader.
Regular feedback, as part of an employee/employer relationship is expected. However, what if feedback is needed outside of this regularly, scheduled meeting? It’s not easy. Especially if it is not directly related to their work. I remember having to talk with an employee about hygiene and deodorant. That was uncomfortable for both of us, but employees, and eventually a customer, were complaining to me regularly. It had to be done.
I remember another time when a manager showed up to a customer meeting with a tissue in his ear. I didn’t know what to say, but everyone in the room was distracted by this. When we walked out to the lobby, he saw this tissue in a mirror and he asked why I didn’t tell him about it. I probably should have, but I was not comfortable telling him. We all actually got a good laugh out of it.
As a peer, I think you should offer advise if someone is asking for it. As a manager, this should be given during regularly scheduled meetings. In general, I think that unsolicited advise is not welcome. However, sometimes it is necessary, even if it’s uncomfortable.
We teach literally hundreds of managers each year how to deliver feedback effectively. It’s always one of the most popular and in demand topics. The survey clearly explains why it’s so popular.
While there are a number of things to remember and do when delivering feedback, the 90/10 rule opens the door for most to see how to make feedback work for both the giver and receiver. 90% of the feedback you provide should be positive, and 10% corrective. Staff do way more right than they do wrong. Catch them doing things right and give them positive feedback. When 90% of your feedback is positive, your corrective feedback (10%) is received with open arms.
Eliminate the negative stigma attached to feedback and create a positive work experience for your teams.
Managers and associates ought to be talking about performance on a regular basis, not once or twice a year. Frequent discussions, such as weekly or bi-monthly one-on-one’s, make giving and receiving feedback so much easier. This also makes the end of the year, final performance appraisal smoother and surprise-less.
Providing constructive feedback takes a rare combination of honesty, humility and empathy. Lots of managers have 1 or 2 out of those 3 characteristics. Very few have a well balanced combination of all three. It’s also about timing. Feedback should not be a once or twice a year effort. Yes, of course conduct the annual formal review process. But that can’t be an opportunity for any surprises. If both successes and missteps along the way are recognized in the moment, it becomes a building and growing process, and that’s the whole point of constructive feedback.
Both can be uncomfortable, especially at formal occasions like annual performance reviews. It’s much better to get into the habit of giving feedback (all kinds) at the time of occurrence.
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This is a huge problem for my clients as managers are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. This often comes from wanting to be their associates friend and going out on Saturday night, then having to be the boss on Monday morning. You can’t be both.
Contrary to popular religious belief, giving [feedback] is harder than receiving [feedback]. Choosing the wording, the tone of delivery, the personality on the other side of the feedback, these factors and more, are very important when giving feedback. Giving is the proactive part (more challenging) while getting is the passive part (easier if the feedback is properly administered).
The truth is that feedback scares people. Call them into the office, and their armor is well apparent. I have always found that constant feedback, on the floor, delivered on the floor as casual conversation with ideas to up performances, were always well received well. Then at official performance reviews, there are no surprises and the review tends to b very positive for all parties.
Agreed. I believe constant feedback in the office is a good way for associates to measure how they are doing. No one should have to wait for performance reviews(if they are given at all) to find out that they doing satisfactory or subpar work. It part of being a good leader.
Regular feedback, as part of an employee/employer relationship is expected. However, what if feedback is needed outside of this regularly, scheduled meeting? It’s not easy. Especially if it is not directly related to their work. I remember having to talk with an employee about hygiene and deodorant. That was uncomfortable for both of us, but employees, and eventually a customer, were complaining to me regularly. It had to be done.
I remember another time when a manager showed up to a customer meeting with a tissue in his ear. I didn’t know what to say, but everyone in the room was distracted by this. When we walked out to the lobby, he saw this tissue in a mirror and he asked why I didn’t tell him about it. I probably should have, but I was not comfortable telling him. We all actually got a good laugh out of it.
As a peer, I think you should offer advise if someone is asking for it. As a manager, this should be given during regularly scheduled meetings. In general, I think that unsolicited advise is not welcome. However, sometimes it is necessary, even if it’s uncomfortable.
We teach literally hundreds of managers each year how to deliver feedback effectively. It’s always one of the most popular and in demand topics. The survey clearly explains why it’s so popular.
While there are a number of things to remember and do when delivering feedback, the 90/10 rule opens the door for most to see how to make feedback work for both the giver and receiver. 90% of the feedback you provide should be positive, and 10% corrective. Staff do way more right than they do wrong. Catch them doing things right and give them positive feedback. When 90% of your feedback is positive, your corrective feedback (10%) is received with open arms.
Eliminate the negative stigma attached to feedback and create a positive work experience for your teams.
Managers and associates ought to be talking about performance on a regular basis, not once or twice a year. Frequent discussions, such as weekly or bi-monthly one-on-one’s, make giving and receiving feedback so much easier. This also makes the end of the year, final performance appraisal smoother and surprise-less.
Providing constructive feedback takes a rare combination of honesty, humility and empathy. Lots of managers have 1 or 2 out of those 3 characteristics. Very few have a well balanced combination of all three. It’s also about timing. Feedback should not be a once or twice a year effort. Yes, of course conduct the annual formal review process. But that can’t be an opportunity for any surprises. If both successes and missteps along the way are recognized in the moment, it becomes a building and growing process, and that’s the whole point of constructive feedback.
Both can be uncomfortable, especially at formal occasions like annual performance reviews. It’s much better to get into the habit of giving feedback (all kinds) at the time of occurrence.